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Virginity: The pressure of losing it

by Robin Bakker

Sex is everywhere. No one can deny that. It has been showing up more and more in the media and shows and movies that most people watch. Singers will even make songs about it. 

So, society has put a big deal on people losing their virginities. And there is pressure on some people to lose theirs early and in a special way. The average age of males losing their virginity is 16 and for females it is 17, according to nbcnews.com.

Based on this statistic, most people now-a-days come into college not as virgins. However, there still are people that come in with no experience what-so-ever, and it is completely normal, yet not talked about as much.

“I went to a small high school so sleeping around wasn’t common and only people in serious relationships weren’t virgins,” said an anonymous University of Tampa female senior biology major. “I thought it was going to be weird, but more people were virgins than I thought. People accepted that I was.”

During her first semester at UT, she ended up losing her virginity a few months into classes to a guy down the hall. A lot of people already knew that she was still a virgin. “He was really accepting of it which shocked me, but I was happy he was,” she said.

Everyone has different preferences and ideals. Some still believe in waiting until marriage, or their religion frowns upon it, or they want to have a serious relationship with someone first, or they are still trying to figure out themselves and who they are and what they like. 

Whatever it may be, people should not be too quick to judge if someone is a virgin or not, and there should not be any pressure on anyone who hasn’t yet lost theirs.

“I felt no pressure coming in at 18 because I felt I was still young and being a virgin at 18 was common,” said an anonymous male senior marketing major. “The deeper you get into college without losing your virginity, you may start to feel pressured as everyone else begins to lose theirs.”

Especially in college, students are put under a lot of stress with school and getting a job or an internship that it can be hard to focus on themselves, let alone a relationship. It starts to feel like a secondary thought.

The anonymous male student is currently still a virgin. He has been waiting for the right person and timing to lose it. I think this is the way to lose it. I think a lot of people rush to lose it so they can say they have.

Personally, I came into college as a virgin. I did not have a relationship in high school and thought that none of the guys were good enough to lose it too. Coming into college and hearing about everyone else’s experience made me feel like an outcast for not losing it, so I kept my mouth shut. 

I even started thinking that maybe I could find someone to just lose it and get it over with. But then I realized that I did not care that much and wanted to focus on my career. So, that was my prime goal heading into my first semester. I was going to figure my 10-year plan out. 

However, my friends at the time, constantly tried to interfere with how I lost it. They wanted to try to “sell my virginity” but also wanted to make it happen with a guy that I did not just meet randomly and could potentially date. 

I soon realized that they had no say in what I choose to do with my body. But, a few months into school I ended up losing it. I do not regret my decision, but it has definitely impacted the person who I am today. 

I believe that society should not have any say on a person’s body. And people that are still virgins should not be scared to say they are instead of potentially facing judgement or laughter. Everyone should get to know the person and why they make the decisions they do before judging. And even jokes can hurt people. Their back story could be traumatic, or a religion based ideal.

“I think coming to college a virgin should be normalized and not seen as someone being uptight since most people are 17 or 18,” said the anonymous female. 

Robin Bakker can be reached at robin.bakker@spartans.ut.edu

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