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Micro-cheating: Micro actions with major consequences

By Iovanna Borjas

Have you ever caught with the corner of your eye how your significant other was texting some other boy or girl? Did you feel an inexplicable rush of fear and jealousy that you couldn’t let out because you’d sound crazy? Then welcome to modern life, where technology has brought us to a new kind of cheating: micro-cheating.

 I get it, it happens to the best of us. You really want to mention to your partner how you hate the way he or she still uses Tinder for “fun”. Maybe you are brave enough to do it and, as a result, you end up having a huge fight about cheating and faithfulness. 

Can you really call it cheating? Or did you actually turn out to be the crazy one in your relationship? When looking up the term online, there are a variety of concepts and ideas of what micro-cheating really is. According to Cosmopolitan, “micro-­cheating is the term for small things you do that could have whispers of infidelity—without ever physically crossing a line.” Truth is, at the end of the day, each person will have his or her own definition depending on their beliefs and values. 

Women are more prone to identify something as micro-cheating than men, according to Men’s Health. For example, if you follow your ex on Instagram, your girl would be more likely to think that is cheating than you would if she did it instead.

For some, this might seem like an exaggeration. However, this is how some, if not many, relationships work nowadays. Technology has become such a big part of our lives that we let it root in our subconscious and we give too much importance to it. I don’t blame us for doing this, because we literally spend more time on our phones than we do with our partners. 

Micro-cheating is not limited to technology though. As HelloGiggles.com explained, if your partner makes a new friend at work and they purposely hide this information from you, this might be considered by some as micro-cheating. Why hide something from your significant other if you are not doing anything wrong? This is what I believe in on this matter. 

However, I also understand those who excuse themselves for this behavior. Angelina Giuliano, junior marine biology major, said she had to do this several times because she was scared of how her ex-boyfriend would react. 

“He would go nuts every time I tried explaining to him I was just friends with some other guy,” Giuliano said. “I just stopped telling him so we would stop fighting all the time; I never cheated on him and never thought of doing it, but he was obsessed with it.”

This is my take on it: If you are with someone and you have to hide something in fear of their reaction, think about it for a second. This is a major red flag. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t trust you?

In my opinion, the answer should be no, but we are all free to love and be with whoever we want to. Also, I think no one should ever use micro-cheating as an excuse to accuse someone else of something they haven’t done. If you like starting fights for no reason, I recommend you avoid having relationships until you are mature enough to be in one. 

If your beloved is doing something that bothers you, talk it out. The main key in a relationship is communication. It won’t be micro-cheating if they are not hiding it from you and if you are both comfortable with the situation. Your boyfriend wants to be friends with his ex? Let him, there is no reason to distrust him for being a mature adult. Your girlfriend has more guy friends than girl friends?  She probably had them before you two started dating. Why would you be with someone if you can’t accommodate to their lifestyle?

Communicate. Respect each other. Love each other. Remember, you are here for a long and healthy relationship, don’t let minimal things get in the way of your happiness.

Iovanna Borjas can be reached at iovanna.borjas@theminaretonline.com

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