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Demystifying the Enduring Mystique of Bisexual Life

Bisexual Pride Flag. Image by Fibonacci / Wikipedia

Bisexual Pride Flag. Image by Fibonacci / Wikipedia

“It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”

Yes, men and women have differing genitalia, but does that mean the life I’m living is inherently wrong?

It took me a while to come out as bisexual and some of you reading this right now might put down this paper and say, “Whoa…I guess you do learn something new every day.”

I don’t flaunt my sexuality; I go with the flow. I keep my love life on the down low.

When I date someone, my Facebook status always remains single.

When I go out, I don’t look for a girl or a boy. I stay pretty indifferent.

I’m looking for someone with the confidence to dance with me in the clubs. I’m a shy girl so anyone who does that automatically is in my good graces.

Or, someone that can hold an intellectual conversation, because that’s sexy.

I believe sexuality is fluid. I appreciate the aesthetics of a persons’ body, boy or girl. I can flirt with either sex and not even know I’m doing so.

I check out a boy and admire his build. I admit to liking muscles and that scruffy look only boys can pull off.
However, I admire a girl’s smile and appreciate a nice toned body.

I guess it’s just a personal preference when I check somebody out. I crave the roughness that comes with a man’s touch, but I also enjoy how a girl’s touch is soft, sensual and familiar.

However, with either gender, even if you are drop-dead gorgeous, a terrible personality can definitely kill someone’s good looks.

For the longest time I felt ashamed to admit I liked girls in addition to boys.

I was confused and felt that if I came out, I would lose all my friends.

I slowly conquered my fears.

Granted I did lose a few friends.

It became awkward with a few acquaintances, I was judged by strangers and I would hear whispers as I walked by.

Inevitably, it felt like high school all over again, similar to when rumors got out by lunch time and I was the latest gossip.

Even those that claimed to be accepting drifted away.
However, coming out was for the better because I finally accepted myself, I made new friends; and I dropped those who never really were genuine friends.

I met quite a few new people within UT’s gay community and started attending the weekly GLTSBA meetings every Wednesday.

Even though the ice breakers are cheesy and the club is still small, it feels like home.

Living my life as a bisexual is normal to me.

In fact, sometimes I forget I even lean both ways until someone mentions Kate Beckinsale or Angelina Jolie and my first response is, “She’s so hot.”

Nevertheless, I still harvest a grin when I watch a Brad Pitt movie, and he remove his shirt, so I’m not completely gay.

People are still shocked to this day when I tell them I’m bi.

From men it usually elicits an arousing response, and the girls usually just say, “Oh, I didn’t realize,” as if I just inherited the plague.

That is why I remain indifferent.

I don’t prance around waving around the gay flag, and I live on a “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of basis.

Life as a bisexual is complicated.

Some ignorantly view it as greedy.

Guys idiotically see it as an opportunity for a threesome; curious girls see it as a gateway to experimentation, and others see it as wrong.

But when it comes down to it, I’m just a normal college girl.

Indeed, I smile at everyone as I pass them by because I am that friendly Asian girl, but I’m ultimately just your average girl that happens to appreciate both sexes.

Now, my “gay-dar” is not finely tuned quite yet, but one day, hopefully, I’ll be able to spot someone that peaks my interest and indeed, swings my way.

Narisa Imprasert can be reached at nimprasert@ut.edu.

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