Sexiled: Inconsiderate Dorm Sluts and You

Imagine coming back late from Ybor, or maybe downtown. Not only are you exhausted and still somewhat drunk, but your shoe is broken and you got in a huge fight with your best friend, your boyfriend and your grandma. All you want to do is get into bed and forget the night even happened.
No matter the scenario, when you get to your door, it is donned with a tell-tale tie and/or birthday tiara that informs you if you choose to enter, you’ll probably see a side (or an angle) of your roommate you never wanted to. And what’s worse, this is the third time they’ve done it this week. And it’s only Monday.

The sounds resonating from the room leave you assuming the inhabitants are not moving furniture and encourage you to heed the warning of the doorknob decoration. There is little to do besides sitting, waiting and praying that the guy has issues with “prematurity.”

But unless you’re fortunate enough to have someone’s place to crash at, you’re pretty much out of luck.

You would think situations like this would be rare, that the amount of people who are that inconsiderate would be low, but excessive “sexiling” appears to be an ever-present issue with on-campus housing.

Sophomore Joanna Hynes is one of many who have a story to tell. “Last year my best friend and I had class at 6 and we were presenting,” she explained. “We were going to bring brownies to make our presentation more appealing, so we were baking. At like ten-till, we went to get the rest of our presentation and my roommate was having sex. We banged on the door and were screaming.”

At least in her case, it was more of a timing conflict than her roommate blatantly locking her out in a time of need so she can get it on. Others aren’t so lucky.

Some even have the misfortune of having a roommate that, instead of kicking them out, chooses to get busy while their roomie is still present.
“My roommate would bring guys home at three in the morning and do stuff in the bed next to me,” said sophomore Kayla Williams.

What’s worse than being sexiled? That’s her bed. | Hannah Webster/ The Minaret

“The day I told her how uncomfortable it made me feel, she apologized and promised not bring guys home like that. She did it that very night again, and this time the boy didn’t leave until the afternoon of the next day. It was extremely awkward.”

The situation in Kayla’s room got so bad that she was forced to leave her room in Vaughn for a room in McKay, a trade that many would consider to be a down-grade. And all because her roommate couldn’t hold off on her frequent nocturnal activities.

Junior Kelly Zino recalls an experience from her freshman year that has yet to be called accidental or on-purpose.

“I was innocently cleaning my closet filled with laundry when one of my roommates came in drunk with one of our neighbors,” Kelly explained.
“Since Austin’s closets are so big, I guess they forgot I was in the room and started to have sex. At first I was unsure if they were just making out, but when I started to hear the continuous bed squeaks, I locked the door on myself in order to avoid any more weirdness. So I spent my Saturday night locked in my dark closet for two hours.”

Awkward.

If you are in such a situation, chances are you’re reading this thinking, “Oops, I am an inconsiderate whore.” Or this paper is crumpling in your hands in anger while you think about the lack of sleep your sex-crazed roommate is causing you.

Both parties just need to extend some consideration. You live together now, not just in the same house, but the same room. Negotiation is essential.

If you are being constantly sexiled, have a sit down talk with your roomie. Maybe they don’t understand that having sex in front of someone could be a little rude. Suggest that they go to the other person’s room. Or tell them times when you’ll be gone and they’re free to have at it. But you can’t just demand they seal of their precious parts and wait for summer.

But the skanks need to stop being so skanky. Yes, you don’t live at home anymore, and mom and dad can’t tell you that there are no boys/girls allowed. But there is someone else who shares your room now, and they would probably like to sleep in their own bed without waking up to see your ass bopping up and down across the room.

Still can’t work it out? I suggest getting a single. But be aware; the walls are thin.

Hannah Webster can be reached at Hannah.Webster@spartans.ut.edu