One infamous episode of “Sex and the City” left us with the rule for breakups: you must get over the ex in half the time you dated. This supposed healing time was to be the perfect equation.
But in real life, can this work out as well?
Is this time frame too long or too short?
A good friend of mine recently broke up with a long time boyfriend.
The first week was hell for all of us close to her: endless crying, phone calls, deleting every bit of his existence from all of our Facebook pages, you name it.
However, it’s week two and she’s already out dating someone new. While I am sure this is providing a great distraction (the key element to successfully getting over any bad situation), I can’t help but think that she hasn’t given herself the proper amount of grieving time.
Is a week too soon?
I personally find it to be way too short, especially to go out and jump back into the raging sea of dating.
But as for my friend, she seems to be doing all right.
The distraction is providing her an ample amount of affection and satisfaction to help her deal with her breakup.
Personally, my last real breakup occurred in 2006, and at the time I felt like I’d never get over it.
Lo and behold, that two-year relationship took almost four years to accept and move on from. Perhaps it really is all a state of mind that helps you forget someone, but does absence of his or her presence correlate to this?
My friend lives on campus at USF, but considering the size of her school, she never bumps into her ex.
I live in a pretty small town with mutual friends and backstabbing girls.
These bring about the constant reminder that my ex is alive and kicking, dating my ex best friend, and yes, doing quite fine without me.
One can only really gauge the intensity of his or her relationships.
While one couple can be together for a year without talking too seriously about future details, another can spend six months together and already be mapping out the wedding plans.
While particularly negative relationships deserve their own spectrum of absolution, how long should it take a person to be able to stand-alone and regain their independence?
Basically what I am trying to say is, how soon is too soon?
Should time constraints really be put on relationships, breakups and courting?
Or is the air of spontaneity really what drives you? I wonder for people who are newly single and living on campus—do you think the SATC rule is applicable to your situation?
Or are you more like me, haunted by the everyday reminders of past significant others and relationships?
Kristen Vasquez can be reached at kvasquez@ut.edu.
